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Former Self - EP

by HELLTH

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1.
free me I have been sleeping all of the guilt all of the guilt that I have felt, for you If I caved in, gave to the pressure the pain would only shape me, all for the better here lies the manipulator we are not the same though are hearts shriek in pain we can only hurt ourselves with ourselves to blame we are not the same though are hearts shriek in pain we can only hurt ourselves with ourselves to blame I die, but I never feel good about it I die, but I never feel bad about it I die, but I never feel good about it you take your closure I’ll take composure I hear a heartbreaking symphony in my mind, it was built into me free me, for I have been sleeping all the guilt I have been feeling every night that was spent weeping shaking, quaking and shrieking shame, taking the blame, all for your careless mistakes as the story goes… I can forgive you, but I can never forget you I’ve learned my lessons burned into my skin your lies came crumbling down the day your true colours had shown And I had suffered every day of the week I lost all hope when I gave into a parasite I count myself lucky I hope you do too ego victim, tell us your sins
2.
Worse 02:25
WORSE graced with an evil embrace an urge to put all of this to rest another day, another chance to kill the voices in my head I breathe in the smoke to suffocate the other me I feel the devil’s grasp over me I’ve suffered every second every hour of every day show me the depths of this troubled mind (I look inside) A fear so dominant, I’ve never seen one of its kind living devastation, suffocated in frustration, If loose all concentration then It’s all thrown down the drain loosing the patience of which I’ve been graced Show me the exit from this house I’ve built I’ve been tirelessly running Yet I find myself standing still Eager to leave, I’m left standing still Eager to pull the thorn, I hesitate Fresh air in plain sight but I suffocate Hope is seldom to build I reminisce of the optimism I’ve killed This disease is man made I only seem to get… WORSE Awake in a daydream I’m seized by a familiar disease I only seem to get WORSE punishment by design, all from the fall of the wrong direction I have suffered alone but if I speak my mind what I can find from getting worse WORSE
3.
Lotus 03:30
I close my eyes, I see the hollow man that I’ve become laying lifeless, still and hopeless, no where to turn survive and learn my lessons, for that I am far too stubborn my second thoughts reach for the reset button I’m a monster I am a monster I deserve all of the misery death has left me here Life won’t intervene _____________________ I wake, dazed, no control or understanding unaware of the danger my mind fell into no emotions in the way I felt them before Evolve to someone distant from previous flaws feeling lower than I thought was possible the person I’ve become, so bitter and horrible feeling lower than I thought was possible the person I’ve become, so bitter and horrible _____________________ when tempted by death’s embrace I feel my heart begin to race as my body struggles with the pace my thoughts are forced to rearrange
4.
your subliminal need for casting your plague feed off emotion and devotion to your foul taste gaslight these concerns and doubts, your insecurity, a monster with the devil’s mouth place yourself above the ones who make you I pray for the devils to come and take you casting your hatred, you’re of no use abusing and intrusive, your spread your false truth manipulation is the name of their game hide by their side and things will never change barely a man, shattered inside, destruction of this broken home a jealous coward who will amount to nothing Live your life miserable if you want but just know you brought this on yourself a father of one, loved by none feared by some, soon to be forgotten “tough love” “tough love” just got and fuck yourself
5.
Worse [Demo] 02:25
WORSE graced with an evil embrace an urge to put all of this to rest another day, another chance to kill the voices in my head I breathe in the smoke to suffocate the other me I feel the devil’s grasp over me I’ve suffered every second every hour of every day show me the depths of this troubled mind (I look inside) A fear so dominant, I’ve never seen one of its kind living devastation, suffocated in frustration, If loose all concentration then It’s all thrown down the drain loosing the patience of which I’ve been graced Show me the exit from this house I’ve built I’ve been tirelessly running Yet I find myself standing still Eager to leave, I’m left standing still Eager to pull the thorn, I hesitate Fresh air in plain sight but I suffocate Hope is seldom to build I reminisce of the optimism I’ve killed This disease is man made I only seem to get… WORSE Awake in a daydream I’m seized by a familiar disease I only seem to get WORSE punishment by design, all from the fall of the wrong direction I have suffered alone but if I speak my mind what I can find from getting worse WORSE
6.
7.

about

Tracks 6 & 7 are bonus tracks.

credits

released July 3, 2021

Tracks 1-5 written, performed and engineered by Adam Barkley of HELLTH and NYCOSIA
Tracks 1-3, 6 & 7 mixed and mastered by Adam Cox at ACO Studios
Track 4 mixed and mastered by Adam Barkley
Track 5 mixed and mastered by Matt Ball

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HELLTH Monmouth, UK

Experimental Heaviness from the UK

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